It took me a long time to realize the extent of ageism in American society because I didn’t feel a victim of it and wasn’t paying attention. But TV ads, among other things, have slowly alerted me to its scope, and I’ve begun to notice TV ads that offer solutions to manufactured ageist “problems,” ones that weren’t considered problems when I was young. For example, in my day, dazzling white teeth weren’t the rage. Most people, young or old, didn’t have them, and the only person I knew who did looked a little odd to me. For example, if you look at reruns of Moonlighting from the 1980s, you won’t see Cybill Shepherd or Bruce Willis flashing the blinding white teeth that ads now tell us we must have in order to look young and attractive (which seems to be the greatest achievement for American adults).
The present-day ad for Smileactives, a tooth whitener, illustrates this. After a pretty young girl tells us about the icky yellowing of teeth that happens as one ages and how using Smileactives will make one’s teeth look white and young again, she ends the ad saying (with a tinge of disgust in her voice), “You have a choice. You can have those yellow teeth and just be old Nana or PopPop. I love my white teeth.”
I was stunned when I heard words so blatantly disdainful of elders, particularly grandparents. I happen to “just be old Nana” (actually, old Grammie), and my husband is “just old PopPop” (actually, old Lare-Bear), and, like Nana and PopPop, we don’t possess the requisite teeth for attracting the admiration that being young or using Smileactives promises us. Should we get Smileactives so we, too, can look young again? After deep analysis, we’ve concluded that no one would be fooled by our new Smileactives teeth because everything else on our faces would still betray that we are old.
So, we’re counting on Garrett, Elena, and Little Ray to be smarter than those who fall for this ad and continue their lovefest with Grammie and Lare-Bear no matter how old we look.
Should we happen to change our minds, however, we have Plexi-Derm to make our faces look as young as what Smileactives can do for our teeth. Plexi-Derm promises an ointment that, when applied to our eye bags and creases, will temporarily erase those signs that we are getting older or are already old. The ad depicts a handsome, middle-aged man and a beautiful, much younger girl sitting at a restaurant table. The man has minor eye bags and some lines on his face. The voiceover expresses the girl’s horror when she becomes aware of these age indicators. In panic, she wonders how she can get out of having dinner with him. The ad cuts to a demonstration of how applying Plexi-Derm to those offensive signs of aging can get rid of them in minutes. The ad ends with a voiceover saying, “Don’t be the guy who loses a hot date before the appetizers even arrive.”
But what happens to that guy after he’s paid the bill, and his bags and lines slowly begin to reappear? I can imagine it would be like a horror movie scene as the young girl watches him slowly morph into Dracula. The ad doesn’t mention that inevitability or what to do should it occur earlier than expected. Maybe it’s in the fine print on the bottle. If not, to be safe, Plexi-Derm users should take a cue from Cinderella but flee well before midnight.
Dracula with Plexi-Derm
Dracula after Plexi-Derm wears off
I’m not against cosmetics; they’ve had their place in all societies for thousands of years, and I use them, too. What I am against is how the commercial drivers influencing our society have used ageism in their ads to create a “need” for their products. The two ads I’ve described are examples of how they have turned what once was normal and acceptable into something to be feared and fixed. Wielding shame and disgust, these ads manipulate us into buying anti-aging products to prolong the illusion that we are still young and, therefore, desirable and welcome in this society. This bolsters the fear of “getting/being old” and capitalizes on it.
However, no matter how vigorously advertisers glorify youthfulness, the reality is that 1) possessing it is not the greatest asset we can have, 2) youth isn’t ipso facto the best stage of our life (I wouldn’t be young again for anything), and 3) how old one does or doesn’t look has nothing to do with one’s merit. The criteria for merit should be our ethics, kindness, common sense, knowledge, curtesy, temperament, honesty, perception, thoughtfulness, compassion, and sense of humor. Any one of those should trump the color of our teeth or whether our eye bags can double as luggage for our next trip.
Can you imagine watching commercials as openly racist, homophobic, anti-feminist, or anti-trans as these ageist commercials are? No, because those groups have spoken out, organized against these “isms,” and won. It doesn’t matter if we elders aren’t whizzes at all things digital. We’re whizzes at the things that only years of life’s trials and successes hone. They’re called accomplishment, wisdom, and deep love. A wise society relies on its elders to provide person-to-person guidance with respect to these things. ChatGPT’s words cannot match what we offer. Experience is required.
Our society needs to stop glorifying youth, stop disdaining those over sixty, stop caving to ageist manipulation, and begin celebrating the contributions we elders make on so many levels. It begins with speaking up.
If you have experienced or noticed ageism, please share in the replies.