One of the benchmarks of the digital age is the huge increase in the variety and amount of communication of all kinds. But there’s one form of communication that was an integral part of our lives not so long ago and now isn’t, and I mourn its loss.
I was reminded of that loss when I recently began going through the boxes we have in our storage room. The first one I opened contained close to a hundred letters written mostly to me from friends and family dating back to when I was in college and tapering off as the computer and cell phone replaced pen and paper over the last couple of decades. It’s been a wonderful experience going through all that correspondence, and it’s made me think about how different today’s emails and texts are in comparison to the way we used to connect with one another by writing letters.
My immediate thought was that letters are more precious than emails. But then I wondered if that were really so, because when I send a heartfelt email to someone, I put as much emotion and thought into my words as I would if writing a letter. Then I thought that a letter might be more precious because I can hold it in my hand, carry it around in my pocket, and read it over as many times as I’d like. But I can print out a special email and carry it around, as well. So that isn’t the reason, either. Still, there is a significant difference between the two experiences, even if it’s subtle.
For one thing, emails and texts don’t lend themselves to being archived over the centuries as letters do. For example, if you accidentally destroy your computer’s motherboard (as I have done), you lose everything. Yes, you can back up the emails when you get them, but will they be readable after fifty plus years of changes in technology? Will the Cloud still exist? And does anyone keep personal emails very much, anyway? I seldom do. They are easy to overlook.
In my day, most letters were handwritten. It was hard to throw them out then and harder to throw the ones I’ve kept now. Why? I think it’s because of the handwriting. Each person’s handwriting is unique and represents the writer’s personality. How the words are chosen and arranged on the paper is also unique to the writer. We instantly recognize the script of family members and friends as we would their faces, so discarding a handwritten letter isn’t as casual an act as hitting the delete key. It’s more like discarding a photograph.
In addition, emails, texts, and emojis lack the unique personality of handwritten letters because fonts and emojis are obviously created by machines. Because of this, emails and texts have to rely solely on vocabulary and machine-generated emojis for conveying the writer’s personality and idiosyncrasies. A handwritten letter, however, involves a deeper kind of communication. In addition to the meaning of the words, handwritten words convey intimacy and personality that no machine-generated communication can, and they bring the reader much closer to the experience of being with, or talking to, the writer.
In my view, the takeover of digital communication has helped to fray the bonds of emotional connection between people that personal, handwritten letters used to bolster. Like online banking and shopping, it is one of the contributors to greater isolation in our society.
What do you think?
14 Responses
Nothing makes my heart jump a little faster than receiving a personal card or note in my mailbox. While I appreciate “thank you” or “just thinking of you” texts, to recognize the sender took time out of a busy life to pen a handwritten “you are important to me” thought, is the highlight of my day. My grandmother passed over 30 years ago but I still read her last letter to me on occasion and it always brings tears to my eyes and joyful memories of picking strawberries, collecting chicken eggs, and roaming the mountain on her farm.
That’s beautiful, Gilda.
Amen, Julie. I have a box full of letters from my husband dating from before we were married. I haven’t looked at them in a long time, but they include doodles and drawings, and I know when I get them out I will not be able to throw them away…handwriting is so personal and unique.
You are lucky to have them, Lyn.
Penmanship has deteriorated, but even a scrawl difficult to decipher authenticates the source of a letter. Moreover, our daily mail mostly consists of advertisements, so much so that even a bill seems special. A personal card or letter conveys thoughtfulness. Still, if there’s much to say, I type it even when I’m planning to snail mail it. My mother’s family set the pattern of carbon copy family epistles, which my siblings and I followed until child rearing and work crowded out letter writing. Now we use emails, but I keep all of our correspondence and refer to it as needed.
Well, the most important thing is the message, after all. There are many typewritten family letters in the box I looked at. And you can type more words in less time than you can comfortably write, so I agree that typing has its place. But I do wish there were more handwritten missives in my life now. Handwritten letters brighten my spirits (but so do typewritten letters and emails). They are just different reading experiences with a lot in common and a subtle emotional difference. One difference that I didn’t mention in the post is that the act of writing by hand has positive effects on old and young brains in terms of memory and learning. It’s supposed to help keep cognitive decline at bay. In that context, it may be that reading handwritten letters helps our cognition because it’s a bit more difficult to read handwriting. But, as Frank says in his reply, the subject is mostly moot at this point.
Our lives will become increasingly convenient and commoditized and we will drift further away from authenticity and ground truth. Another blip on Darwin’s radar.
I agree with you mostly, Frank, but I wonder about just how convenient life is for us even now. This will be the subject of a future post. I’ll be interested in what you have to say. You may make me change my mind.
So true. In my mothers records I found a letter my grandfather Sparrow wrote to his parents about finding the lovely girl that he is going to marry. What a priceless gift to be able to read.
That is priceless Connie. I’d love to have something like that in my memorabilia.
Absolutely. Handwritten correspondence is much more precious. One can spend an hour writing a thoughtful email or a moment sending a quick text. But a handwritten note sends an inherent message of caring.
I think you hit the nail on the head, Nancy.
You did a terrific job of covering the many viewpoints, so I have nothing to add except my own opinion. Although it’s always a pleasure to hear from someone via either Email or handwritten letter, the latter is special…especially since cursive is becoming a lost art. Having lost my mother when only 5 years old, the greatest gift I ever received when I was about 50 was a packet of letters she had written to my aunt. For the first time, I saw her lovely penmanship and was able to sense her personality. Also, one’s handwriting becomes as much one’s identity as their voice. A computer birthday or Christmas greeting is just not the same as a handwritten card!
That’s really touching, Judy. You were so lucky to get those letters. Thanks for sharing.